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Green Tips for Daily Living

Missing Puzzle Piece ..

“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” – George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

More than a hundred schoolmasters. Wow. That is really something, isn’t it? But I’m afraid I can’t prove any of these words, because in my 17 years of living, I didn’t see my father. Most of the times, I want to turn back time, not to correct my mistakes, but to see my father. The day that I was born, I don’t know if he was there to watch my mom screamed and gave birth to me. I don’t know if he was happy if he ever he was there. And if he wasn’t there, I want to know the reason why. The only thing I know about my father is his name, not even whole name actually, and a picture of him & my mother. Whenever I looked at that picture, I wonder what it would be like to grow up with a father always on your side. You know the one that everyone’s talking about; a father that will teach his child to ride a bike, or teach her how to swim, or even give her ride to school, or just being a father. I didn’t experience any of that. Though, I have been living with my uncles & aunts and grandparents, but they don’t count. Still it would be different if my real father witnessed my childhood. I started to find my father a few years ago, by looking at the Directory’s. I called every person that has a surname Cala and asked them if they knew someone named Alexander. But none of them knew him. Disappointed. Frustrated. Mad at the world. Confused. I lost hope that time, didn’t know where to start to look again, because I don’t even know his address or even his middle name! DAMN IT! I got mad at my mother that time but I didn’t tell her that. She hasn’t been fair to me, she didn’t talk about him. How am I supposed to complete my puzzle life if there’s a piece that’s been buried and has been locked in from the past?

But everything has changed when I absentmindedly searched his name in a social network named Facebook. 3 names appeared in the search result. One has no picture in it, the other one has a picture but I don’t think that it was him. I opened the last one and saw the picture; I was shocked when I realized he looked like the one in my only picture of my father. I sent him a message and asked him what his middle initial is. After a week, he replied in my message and wrote that his middle initial is R; Ramirez. The moment I read that message I knew in the back of my mind that he is my father. He also wrote in the message that my name is familiar to him, he even asked who my mother is. I was arguing with myself if I’ll continue to communicate and answer him or I’ll just ignore and forget everything. I was confused about myself that time, why did I even doubt myself about searching my father. So without thinking twice I answered his question and hoped that he is my father. 

After a few days, he answered and said that he knew my mother, he gave his phone number and said he wanted me to text him and he wanted to talk to my mom. The moment I received that Facebook alert in my cellphone, I went blank. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even sleep that night. Finally, I found him. After almost 17 years of my living, I found my father. I finally found not only a father figure but a real father.

I’ve waited a few days before I texted him. I greeted him and said it was me. He replied and said that he is my father. I just replied him I was speechless. He called. First, I was hesitating to answer it, too nervous maybe. But then, I answered his call and for the first time, I heard his voice. A tear rolled in my cheek that moment. A bit dramatic actually. He asked about my mom, my grandparents, etc. He wanted me to see him, he wanted me to go to San Jose del Monte, Bulacan. I said I’ll go there if there’s time.

After a week, I went there. When I was in the bus, I was blank again. I was surprised about myself because I went blank twice since I found my father. Didn’t know what he would be like, I just waited in the bus. The moment I saw him, I didn’t know what to do. Good thing he hugged me tight. I was a bit numb that time. I didn’t even know why. Maybe not numb, but controlling my tears. I didn’t want him to see that I’m weak, that I’m a drama queen. He treated me like a baby. It was good actually. It was really nice.

In just a month, everything that I’ve hoped and prayed for in my entire life happened. Until now I can’t believe that it’s really happening. What a life changing experience. Now that I’ve seen my father, I feel complete. I am complete. That hole in my body, filled. The missing puzzle piece in my life was found. My puzzle life was solved. And I always thank God for everything.

BBQ Day

Earlier this day, my family & I had this barbecue thing, and it was so much FUN. Though I woke up a little late than I've planned but still I saw my family's preparation for our so-called "lunch" for the day. I was happy when I saw them worked & prepared together. I thought that it would never happen in my entire life but it just did. And I'm happy for it, for them.  I thought that they would never set such a thing like that. But I guess I was wrong about them, AGAIN.  Every each and everyone of them is just so unpredictable. Although some of the members of our family were not here earlier still, I was happy that it just happened. Maybe it was a good thing, that we're not complete, because some still have grudge to each other and still stubborn to forgive & forget.

I hope that this barbecue thing will happen often, now that I think they're closer than ever & know each other better. Oooh. I just love my family. God Bless us. :)